Tired of Feeling Not Good Enough? How to Silence Your Inner Critic
We all have that voice in our heads - the one that criticises and doubts us. It’s the inner critic, and if you’re like me, it probably shows up more often than you’d like. But the good news? You don’t have to let that voice control your life.
In this post, I want to explore why the way you speak to yourself matters and share some simple strategies for silencing your inner critic so you can live a more empowered and peaceful life.
Firstly, What Is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is that negative, judgemental, mean voice in your mind that constantly belittles you. It’s often harsh and unsupportive. It might sound like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“It’s not good enough.”
“I’ll never succeed.”
“I can’t do that - who do I think I am?”
“I’m always so cringy.”
“I just always look so horrible recently.”
It’s often rooted in past experiences or negative beliefs, but it can become so habitual that sometimes we don’t even realise it’s there. Unless you’ve built up self-awareness, which is something I’ll talk about in this blog post.
To give you an example, I went to a networking event last year, and all I could think was, “Why would anyone want to sit with me, let alone talk to me? I never have anything interesting to say.”
I went to the networking event feeling like an imposter, an outsider, and, to be completely honest, anxious. I’ll write about how I overcame this another time, but I just wanted to highlight here that the inner critic can show up in everyday life, especially when you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.
Why Does the Inner Critic Matter?
The way we speak to ourselves affects the way we feel, and the way we feel determines the actions we take (or don’t take). If your inner critic is constantly telling you that you’re not good enough, it will make you feel insecure and stressed. This often leads to self-doubt, which in turn prevents you from pursuing your goals, passions, and dreams.
Over time, listening to your inner critic can start to dictate your life, including your decisions, your relationships, and your work. It’s completely exhausting!
So here are some simple strategies you can use to overcome the inner critic in your mind:
1. Recognise the Critic
The first step is to notice when the inner critic shows up. When you catch yourself thinking something mean about yourself, pause for a moment.
Tip: Try saying to yourself, “That’s not my truth; it’s my inner critic.” This can help create a little space between the thought and yourself. I know some people find it helpful to give their inner critic a name to help with detaching. I don’t do this, but I know it works for some.
2. Challenge the Critic
Once you notice the inner critic, challenge it. Ask yourself:
Is this thought really true?
What else might be true?
3. Replace Criticism with Love and Kindness
Instead of letting the critic tear you down, try replacing its voice with a kinder one. This is about treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend.
Tip: When the critic says, "You’ll never do this," respond with, "I’m doing my best, and I’ll figure it out and keep going."
4. Practise Mindfulness
Mindfulness works wonders for quieting the inner critic. By staying present and observing your thoughts without judgement, you can create distance from your inner critical voice. Mindfulness helps you see thoughts as just thoughts, rather than facts you have to believe.
Tip: When you say something mean to yourself, take a few deep breaths and gently remind yourself, “I am not my thoughts.”
5. Consistently Replace Your Thoughts
The more you practice creating new, empowering thoughts, the less power the inner critic will have.
Tip: If you want to start training your brain more, you can practice loving and kind affirmations daily: “I am enough as I am. I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
What If the Inner Critic Still Won’t Go Away?
Even when you challenge the inner critic, it can feel persistent, and I’d be lying to you if I said the above strategies completely get rid of your inner negative voice. That isn’t the goal here.
It’s not about eliminating the critic completely – the critic will resurface at different moments in your life. It’s about reducing its power over you and shifting the focus toward a more supportive, loving inner voice.
Even when I hear my inner critic, admittedly, I find it quite annoying that it pops up from time to time. But I choose not to let it dictate how I feel, which means it doesn’t affect the actions I choose to take that are in my best interest. And that’s the best we can do. You can notice it, not believe it, and keep moving forward as you create the life you want to live.
Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. Your mind doesn’t have to think perfectly all the time. It’s okay if the inner critic shows up sometimes. What matters is that you’re learning to treat yourself with more kindness and respect, and your positive voice will start to drown out the negative one.
With love
Ellie x