Life coaching isn’t about making you or your life perfect
I want to bust some myths, share the truth, and help you make better decisions when it comes to your self-development, growth, and future.
Why? I’m passionate about life coaching and wholeheartedly believe it can help people.
But I also know there’s a lot of noise and confusion out there about what life coaching really is. Does it work? Is it really needed? Will it change my life? And how is a coach different from a therapist? These are just some of the common questions I hear, and I hope this post can shed some light on them.
Over the years, I’ve heard many comments that point to some big misconceptions about life coaching and even therapy. But for now, let’s focus on coaching and clearing things up.
First, let’s get clear on what life coaching is
Coaching is a professional discipline that’s all about helping you move from where you are now to where you want to be. It’s a collaborative space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, blocks, beliefs, and ambitions. The goal of coaching is to help you gain clarity, uncover your true potential, and make empowered decisions.
What a coach does is create that space, ask thought-provoking questions, challenge your perspectives, and reflect on what’s been said in a way that helps you discover the answers within yourself.
Personally, I find this to be an incredibly empowering process. You start to realise how much your true self has been clouded by noise, expectations, and conditioning - things that have kept you from owning your full potential. And it’s amazing how much clarity you can gain when you’re in a space that encourages you to be your authentic self and discover the answers you’ve been looking for to move forward.
A coach may offer advice if you ask for it, but let’s be clear: a coach is not a life guru. You are your own guide, and believe it or not, you always know what’s best for you.
It’s been proven time and again: people don’t change because others tell them to; they change when they decide to do so for themselves. And that’s what coaching is all about - helping you tap into your wisdom and motivation.
I know it can be confusing, especially with all the content on social media where coaches share advice, give tips, or preach about how to live your best life. But that’s just one part of their job, often used to market themselves.
In a true coaching space, the focus is always on you. Don’t expect a coach to talk at you for an entire session, giving you advice and not letting you speak. That wouldn’t be real coaching.
Can life coaching really change my life?
Yes, life coaching can change your life but there’s a catch. You have to be willing to believe in the process, open to making changes, and show up fully committed to the journey.
Life coaching is about shifting your belief system, changing your approach to life, and taking the right actions. There’s no getting around it change requires effort.
Here's something I want to emphasise: there is no such thing as overnight success, and there is no ‘perfect’ life waiting for you on the other side.
There is no perfect formula
I deeply believe in coaching because I’ve seen it change lives. If I didn’t believe in it, I wouldn’t be pursuing a career in it.
That said, I’ve also seen the unrealistic expectations that often get set by what’s portrayed online. Some people might promise you quick fixes or perfect outcomes, and that’s something I just can’t get behind.
So, if you’re considering life coaching, please understand this: it’s not a shortcut to a perfect life, and it won’t deliver an ideal outcome overnight.
Coaching is a process of uncovering who you truly are, taking the time to put in the work, and experiencing growth step by step. Change often happens incrementally, with each session building on the last. Yes, there will be powerful ‘aha’ moments where things click into place, and you’ll be amazed at how much you can learn about yourself. But don’t buy into the myth that someone can promise you a dream life overnight, or that you’ll wake up one day feeling perfect.
A reminder to my fellow perfectionists out there: It’s not about trying to be flawless and create a flawless life it’s about embracing progress, accepting imperfections, and learning to enjoy the journey, no matter where you are along the way.
Is life coaching really needed?
There’s no one-size fits-all answer here. Some people might say “no,” and others will say “yes.” My answer is: What are your needs?
Have you heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? Without diving too deep, I’ll say this: when it comes to basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid, no, you don’t need coaching to fulfill them. Life coaching isn’t about survival.
But if you want to reach the top of the pyramid which is about self-actualisation, creating the life you want, and truly fulfilling your potential then I can confidently say life coaching is something that can help you do that and from my own experience I needed coaching to help me with that.
If you value growth, self-development, and learning, coaching can play a crucial role in helping you become the woman you aspire to be.
Think of it like this:
If you're hungry and you can’t get food, you’ll eat whatever is available, even if it’s just slaw.
But if you’re in a position where you can choose, and you want to experience the true taste of food, you might choose to dine out or cook a nice meal, you choose food that truly fulfills you.
Coaching is there to help you go beyond just surviving.
Ain’t no guru
Honestly, I put off becoming a life coach for so long because I felt pressured to have my life completely figured out before I could start. The perfectionist in me held me back at every turn.
But the truth is, life is always unfolding. One moment you might feel you don’t have your job together but your relationship is solid. The next moment, you’ve nailed your career but are struggling in your relationship. Things are constantly changing and evolving and that’s okay.
Here’s my point:
A life coach can offer advice if you ask for it, but they are not a guru. They’re not above you. They are human. They have their own imperfect life going on. They’re there to guide you, not to “fix” you.
Whenever I work with someone, I want them to know that coaching is a collaborative process. We work together to move you forward.
I wish more people would take coaches and therapists off their pedestals and put themselves in the driver’s seat.
Think of it like this: You’re the driver in your own life, and the coach is in the passenger seat. They’re there to listen to your music, watch the direction you set in your satnav, and suggest a detour if they see a roadblock or accident ahead. They’ll calm you down if you’re feeling stuck, help refocus you if you get panicked or doubt yourself, and push you toward that dream destination.
That doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. You might break down, get hungry, run out of snacks, or want to give up at times. But it’s all part of the ride and, in the end, the journey is worth it.
To me, that’s what life coaching is all about. I hope you enjoyed that metaphor I enjoyed writing it (A shower moment).
Is life coaching like therapy? How do I know what to choose?
Let’s keep this simple.
Think of personal development on a scale.
If someone is struggling with severe mental health issues, they might be at -10. Therapy would help them move up the scale, bringing them to a more balanced state.
If someone is already at a 1 and wants to move toward a 10 meaning they’re looking to grow, achieve goals, and thrive coaching is what can help them get there.
So, therapy is often focused on addressing trauma and mental health challenges, helping individuals achieve stability and well-being. The key focus is helping you reach a healthier state.
Coaching, on the other hand, is more action and growth focused. While it can certainly support those with mild to moderate mental health issues, its key focus is on helping you reach your full potential and create positive change in your life.
Another key difference is that therapists typically look at the past to understand a person’s challenges and offer relief in the present moment. Coaches may briefly revisit the past, but the focus is on the present and future and creating strategies and action steps that drive you forward.
Tips when choosing a life coach
Find a coach you feel comfortable with
A coaching relationship is built on trust, so it's essential to choose someone you feel comfortable opening up to. Pay attention to how you feel in your initial conversations.
Choose a coach who is accredited
Make sure your coach has received formal training and is accredited.
Trust your gut
Ultimately, your intuition plays a big role in this decision. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to walk away.
I hope this post has helped clear up some of the confusion around life coaching. My goal was to give you a real and honest look into what you can expect.
If you’re ready to explore how coaching could help you, or if you just want to chat about whether it’s the right fit, I’d love to hear from you and support you with the next step.
With love,
Ellie