Ways to love yourself (that actually work)

Self-love is one of those concepts we hear about all the time, but when it comes down to practicing it daily, it can feel… a little impossible.

Maybe you’ve tried to love yourself affirmations or got lost in social media quotes, only to feel like you’re still struggling with the same old habits of self-doubt and negativity.

Something I’ve learned: Self-love isn’t a one-time decision it’s something you practice repeatedly over time. It’s about showing up for yourself consistently. And, while it may look different for everyone, some simple practices can guide you toward a more loving relationship with yourself.

So, let’s dive into 5 ways I practice self-love that are doable in your busy life.

Embrace your imperfections and focus on the growth

Self-love starts with the belief that you are enough. We all have areas where we wish we were better but perfectionism is often just a cover for our fear of not being enough. So, instead of chasing an impossible standard, why not focus on growth instead?

This doesn’t mean pushing yourself to do more or be more sometimes growth means simply accepting where you are right now and being kind to yourself in that space so you can continue to grow. Whether it's taking a step back or taking things slower, growth is about progress and not perfection.

In moments you make a mistake, or you are not able to push yourself to do more, instead of beating yourself up ask yourself:

What does my best look like today? How am I growing in both big and small ways?

Honour your needs even when it’s uncomfortable

We’ve all been there, feeling tired, stressed, and worn out, but you push through because you think you should. As women, we’ve been taught to prioritise others or ignore our needs, but self-love means giving yourself permission to pause and listen to your body and mind.

Whether it’s getting more rest, saying no to a request, or just taking a moment to breathe.

Self-love means listening to your emotional, mental, and physical needs, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. It’s about sitting with your emotions, allowing yourself to process them, and setting healthy boundaries with others.

What do you need right now?

Whether it's a break, a conversation, or a quiet moment, you can give yourself permission to honour it.

Something that helps me to give myself permission is reminding myself, that this will serve me in the long run, even if it means a bit of temporary discomfort or dissatisfaction. For example, having a moment where I need to cry and sit with my uncomfortable feelings, I know it doesn’t feel good in the moment, but the next day I will feel better for releasing it.

 Call out your self-destructive behaviours

True self-love means not engaging in behaviours that you know drag you into self-hate, lack, or comparison.

Comparison steals your peace. It distracts you from your unique path and makes you forget that your journey is your own. The next time you find yourself scrolling or mentally comparing, pause. Ask yourself:

Is this helping me or holding me back?

Do I want to enjoy my day today? Or do I want to sabotage my growth today?

Every time you choose self-criticism or negative comparison, you move away from love.

Create a bank of proud moments

Think back to a time when you did something you were really proud of. Maybe you spoke up when it was hard, took on a challenge, or made it through a tough day. Those moments matter and they need to be celebrated.

Create a bank of proud moments on your phone and revisit them when you need a reminder of your strength. Think of it like a mental scrapbook of times you’ve shown up for yourself. This is about acknowledging your growth. Think of your inner child, there is a part of you that craves encouragement and recognition.

Prioritise time to connect with yourself

True self-love is found in connection to yourself and taking time for silence, stillness, and reflection, away from the noise. This quiet space allows you to tap into your inner peace and wisdom. In a world that’s always on, it’s easy to forget how amazing it can feel, to simply be comfortable and connected with yourself.

It doesn’t need to be hours of meditation or journaling (although if that works for you please do go for it I love to spend hours journalling I can advocate for that!). It’s about making time to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what you need in the moment.

Maybe it’s a walk, a cup of coffee in silence, or just a few deep breaths. Use that time to check in with yourself.

How are you feeling today? What do you need to give yourself today? What are you going to choose to love about yourself and your life today?

To summarise:

Self-love to me is about the small, everyday choices that show you care for yourself. It’s in the moments you choose to pause, reflect, and to treat yourself with kindness, even when the world feels chaotic. It’s about doing the often uncomfortable, but necessary thing to move yourself forward, even if it’s only by a tiny amount.

If you’re reading this then you’re probably doing better than you think. And today? You’re going to choose self-love even if it’s just in one little way.

With love,

Ellie